Auld Lang Syne

As the holiday season approaches, I find myself thinking about how fast the year has gone by. Instead of worrying about all the things I've yet to accomplish and dreading the increasingly quick passing of years, I like reflecting on where I was last year.

The thing that stands out the most from this time last year is how stressed out I was. I was practically pulling my hair out. I can't say that I feel much different this year. Maybe next year I'll finally realize that procrastination doesn't pay off--especially when said procrastinator doesn't work well under pressure. Is this a New Year's resolution in the making?

Last year I was having problems coping with the absence of my mom. It was my first year away from home, and I felt like I needed her to guide me. I wanted her to point me in the right direction, and I couldn't help wondering if things would be easier were she still alive. This year I've felt comfortable being my own guide. Isn't self-sufficiency what growing up is all about?

This time last year I was struggling to let go of someone I'd once loved. This year I've experienced love again.

I believe that most changes that come our way are for meant for the better. The past year has been full of changes, and I'm glad I embraced (or struggled through) all of them. I have high hopes for the year 2010. My biggest hope for 2010 is for my relationships. I want to bring myself to forgive my dad, want to help my best friend through her impending breakup, want my relationship to thrive, and I want my relationship with myself to remain stable.

New Year's may just be an annual party night for most people, but I'm content staying home and thinking about all the past New Year's that have lead up to this one. This will be my twentieth year of life, and I couldn't feel more grateful.

Awakenings

I truly believe that film can depict the seriousness and emotional gravity of medical ethics even better than a scholarly article. Even stories about animal experimentation make me cringe, but to actually see a human who has undergone some type of medical experimentation. . . it's a bit more harrowing. I think this is one of the strong points of film--it's visual aspect. The audience can connect with the actor on the screen, even if he's just an actor.

The movie Awakenings gets me every time. Here's this catatonic man who has no idea 30 years of his life have passed. Enter the hopeful doctor who wants to help his catatonic patients. Throw in the drug L-Dopa and you get a terribly heart-wrenching movie. What would it be like to wake up one day and see that you've aged 30 years overnight? Leonard handles it quite well in the movie. But what if you're more like one of the other patients in the ward? What if you're wife is dead? Your son is missing? I think I'd feel hostile and "swindled," as the man in the movie puts it.

Maybe you'd be like Leonard. You'd wade into the ocean with all your clothes on, you'd go dancing, fall in love for the first time. But then you'd notice that you have a tick. Eventually your head will thrash uncontrollably from side to side. You'll realize that the drug isn't working anymore, and you'll be afraid to close your eyes at night for fear of slipping back into catatonia. Is it worth it? I guess only people like Leonard can know.

L'Autumne.

It's finally fall. Open up the window you're sitting next to, stick your head outside, and shut your eyes as you take a deep breath. Do you smell that? "Don't you just love New York in the fall?" "It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address." What a treat it would've been to spend fall break in New York City. Still, home is home, and I was glad to be there for a few days. I'd like to think I was equally productive and not productive. I figured out the classes I'm going to take for next semester, finished some homework, and shot for photography. I also played Guitar Hero for the first time. Pathetic, I know--just like my guitar-playing skills. But I still enjoyed myself.

It rained almost every day over break, which gave me a chance to (#1)wash some overdue laundry for free, and (#2)spend time with Kayla and my sister. My sister seems to be going through that quintessential "must see friends and avoid family" phase. G and I have always been close, but lately people have been asking her to go out more often. I guess it's because all her friends are slowly turning 16. I can't believe my sister will be able to drive this year. If I had it my way she wouldn't age a day past 15. I'm convinced Oreo, April, and Lacy were the happiest to see me home, especially since Dad saw me and asked "What are you doing here?" I'll take all the love I can get--even if it has to come from two cats and a dog.

Our current photography assignment is self-portrait. We're supposed to think outside the box for it. Immediately I thought of photographing my sister and my friends. My sister and I share a genetic bond (and something stronger, of course), and I figure Kayla and I are as close as two people can be. So I set up the tripod in front of this strangely unfamiliar fuchsia bush in our backyard. It was cold and windy, but Giulietta agreed to have her picture taken. I had to convince her that manual cameras are much more flattering than digital cameras. The pictures are all candid, which I think makes them honest self-portraits. We traveled to the park and hung upside-down from the monkey bars and tried to fit into the childrens' swings. I can't think of a better setting to express myself.

Saying goodbye to my family wasn't as rough as it normally is, because I know how fast the time will pass here. Before I know it it will be Thanksgiving break, and then winter break. My final treat during fall break was coming back to my room and finding it filled with 175 balloons. An unexpected and much enjoyed birthday present to top off the start of this new season? Yes, this fall is fairing well.

A Fatty Fail

"The Tragedy of Krispy Kreme" was featured as a main story on Yahoo's website. It came second only to "Kidnap Victim Jaycee Dugard Emerges." I can understand the entertainment value here. Krispy Kreme's doughnuts are one of the most popular names in the industry, if not the most popular. Doughnut lovers would be saddened to read about the franchise's struggles, but to call this story a "tragedy?"I can think of many things more tragic than Krispy Kreme's setbacks.

The article grasped for something the audience could connect to on an emotional level. We've all been in a rush to get somewhere, so the article drew their emotional connection from the idea that doughnuts are a mobile food. I'm sorry; I do enjoy doughnuts, but I don't have a sentimental attachment to them.

The article talks about the huge success of the business and its peak in 2003. When competitor after competitor entered the market, combined with the trend of eating healthier, Krispy Kreme lost about 90 percent of its value. This is a staggering number, and maybe people who own businesses can relate to Krispy Kreme's sudden losses.

The article then shines a positive light on the situation. Krispy Kreme's stock shares are now at $3.49. It deduces that there may still be hope for the company. This article was basically an incomplete summary of Krispy Kreme's current business. This story affects people who hold Krispy Kreme shares in the stock market, and it affects doughnut lovers, but how important is this issue really?How does it fit into the bigger scheme of things? I would appreciate this article if it had touched on the fact that many food chains or just businesses in general are struggling at the present. Seeing as how it failed to impress in terms of NICH, I'm very surprised this article was featured as a top story on Yahoo.

The Pros of ProCon

When I first looked at this website I was overwhelmed by all the links. However, looking through the website I realized that more links meant more information. It's clear from the beginning that the makers of this website are transparent about their work. Wouldn't you be pleased to know that each of their "standard sites" takes over 1,500 hours to build? It sounds thorough enough for me. As you scroll down the front page you see all updates from the past 30 days. Having information that readily available to you is a plus, but knowing the information is recent is even better.

The first issue I clicked on was "Euthanasia." Again, the website is transparent about their methods. They include an editor's note that says, "We do not recommend or refer specific physicians, organizations, or other experts on end-of-life issues." The pros and cons from the experts are easy to follow because of the two-column layout. It also seems to me that the amount of information on each side is relatively balanced. I like the idea of having "Top 10 Pros and Cons," because I feel like when people are arguing they eventually scrounge for ideas that don't carry a significant amount of weight for the issue.

Definitions, diseases, legal issues, moral questions, etc. are listed on many of the issues' main pages. I think this is a great way to encourage people to educate themselves. The information is so easy to find it's hard not to inform yourself.

The line between a pro and a con can be blurry. For each of the Top 10 Pros and Cons only one of each are listed. There is no way of telling whether the information given on one side is as powerful as the information given on the other. Overall though, I feel like this is a great tool to help citizens take initiative. It helps turn the uninterested public into a more interested public. People who may feel too ashamed to ask controversial questions can find answers for themselves confidentially. ProCon.org is great example of unbiased information--truly committed to the well-being of its audience.

Little Town, It's a Quiet Village...

Je vais voyager à Tours, mes amis! J'ai peur, mais je sais que tout sera bien. Je suis le plus excited pour la culture. Ne mettez pas vos mains sous la table, non! Ne souriez pas a personne, ou les hommes recevront une mauvaise idée. J'ai vu quelque photographies de Tours. Je pense que c'est une petite ville, mais ils ont des choses à faire. Sam, Courtney, et Mary-Elizabeth veulent voyager à Tours aussi. Il serait bon d'avoir des amis avec moi. Ce sera mon premiere voyage à travers l'océan. Ah, juin. Je ne peux pas vous attendre.

I'm going to Tours, my friends! I'm scared, but I know that everything will be okay. I'm the most excited for the culture. Don't put your hands under the table! Don't smile at anyone, or the men will get the wrong impression. I saw some photos of Tours; it looks like a small city, but they have things to do there. Sam, Courtney, and Mary-Elizabeth want to go to Tours as well. It would be nice to have some friends with me. This will be my first trip overseas. I can't wait for June.

Where are Michael and Nina?

Maybe we're unaware of a Project Runway challenge that involved making Michael Kors and Nina Garcia an invisibility cloak. Or maybe the invisibility cloak is just the latest fashion trend. All I know is that Nina and Michael have been missing from various episodes this season. The preview for tomorrow's show didn't feature them either.

Everyone needs a sick day. Perhaps these two have H1N1. I just want an explanation as to why they're being replaced on the judging panel by people like: Lindsay Lohan, Rachel Bilson, and Eva Longoria-Parker. Most celebrities are styled by a stylist. Why not have Rachel Zoe sit in for Kors or Garcia? I highly doubt these celebrity replacements have as much industry experience as a stylist. Or why not have Tim Gunn as a guest judge? He follows the designers through their entire creative process! Don't you think he might know a bit about who deserves to stay and who needs to go home?

There's a reason the winner of Project Runway is separate from the winner of "America's Favorite." The judge's panel is there to aid America in seeing what is innovative design and what is not. I understand giving the host of the show (Heidi Klum) input in the decisions, much like Padma Lakshmi has input in the decisions made in Top Chef. But in my opinion, including these wannabe fashionistas in the judging panel is unfair. It's like having me sit up there in place of Michael Kors. I would have no idea what I was talking about. "I like it. It's different. I would wear that," are the only comments these celebrities can come up with. I think the designers would much rather have the opinions of Nina Garcia and Michael Kors than Lindsay Lohan.

Please, Nina Garcia and Michael Kors, I'm begging you to ditch the disappearing act. America is lost without you!

Sean Penn: From Rebellious Bad Boy to Wholesome Milk

We've all heard of the movie Milk, and we've all heard of the film's lead actor, the always rebellious Sean Penn. But how much do we really know about this leading man? Milk won two Oscars at last year's Academy Awards, including Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role. How does Sean Penn go from Mick O'Brien in Bad Boys (1983) to the gentle persona of Harvey Milk in last year's Milk? Rolling Stone's Mark Binelli spent a total of five hours with Penn at his home in Marlin County, California to learn more about the actor.

Named the "greatest actor of his generation," Penn has a whopping thirty years of work under his belt. An Oscar nomination for Best Actor would not be considered extraordinary, but his latest nomination for Milk is a surprise, all due to Penn's unexpected career choice. In Milk, Penn plays a kind gay politician who was murdered in 1978. This is an unusual departure from Penn's usual dark, serious roles. As always, Penn was unafraid to give his all in his performance. When asked by Binelli if it was appealing to play a person so different from his own public persona, Penn responded: "He appealed, period. I liked him so much, I just thought, 'Can I find him in myself?' I didn't know. And there were times when I'd given it a go and really felt like I failed. You don't know. You just hope."

His hope ended up paying off in Oscar form. Perhaps his performance was inspired by his respect for the real Harvey Milk. Penn stated in the Rolling Stone interview that he believes Milk would be a powerful voice if he were alive today. Binelli asked, "Playing a real-life person like Milk, with so much archival footage to look at, is there a danger of just doing an impression?" Penn answered, "Yeah, but I don't know how to do impressions. I can't sing, either. So there's that. The main problem was that normally, to tell a whole life in two hours, you want to get somebody more charismatic than the real person. And in this case, one could only aspire to that."

This isn't the first time Penn has expressed his feelings about being committed to a role. He stated in the interview that he feels many actors spend more time endorsing than acting: "People are spending too much time modeling for some fucking clothing company instead of acting, and I resent it." On the shoot for Clint Eastwood's Mystic River, it was written in to the script that Penn be held back by six men while trying to fight to see his daughter's dead body. Penn spoke with Eastwood and convinced him to up the count to fifteen men. That way, Penn could go crazy with head-butting and biting, and no one would get hurt.

Maybe with this Oscar, Penn will be received as the multi-faceted actor he is. Even though Penn says he's open to comedies, he's never really been offered them. The right roles just fall into his lap. He said, "I'm more interested in the way drama tends to resonate in people's lives, versus that kind of escapism." While Penn has expressed a sort of apathy for his acting career, he thinks of himself as more of an auteur. When asked by Binelli if his ambivalence was part of his not feeling like he has many peers, Penn responded, "No, and don't misunderstand me--It's not that I don't have peers. I just feel sad about where the culture of my profession is. The people who I feel are still part of an old school are the people that I relate to. But generally, the job of directing is the job I'd rather be doing." Whether acting or directing in the future, it's clear we can always expect a wholly committed Penn.

A Revelation in a Dark Room

I'm used to watching the scenes in front of me through a digital screen on the back of my camera. I watch the screen, half-press the big silver button, and then take a picture. I could take twenty pictures of the ocean before I found one I liked. I've known how to work a digital camera for years.
That being said, I never imagined the patience and meticulousness that go into traditional photography.
First, there's the manual camera.
"What is this thing?! It weighs ten pounds!"
I can't tell you how many buttons and control panels are on my Nikon N90S, but I can tell you it's well over the three on my Kodak digital.
Each shot takes about a minute to prepare. Press your eye to the viewfinder, focus the image, adjust the aperture and shutter speed, and take the picture before the shot changes. It doesn't sound like much work, but it's certainly more work than aiming and clicking at whatever strikes your fancy.
Then there's the darkroom. No, you can't plug the USB cord into your computer and upload the photos in an instant. You have to stumble blindly into a room that's pitch black, take the cap of your film off with a bottle-opener, and wrap your film seamlessly around a film reel.
Please take note: I can't make it from my bed to my door in the dark. In other words, the darkroom was a challenge.
While swishing chemicals around in the film canister that held my film, I wondered about the end result. Why all this effort? Isn't this why digital cameras now exist? To make our lives easier?
The film dried after another fifteen minutes and as I pulled the negatives off the reel I realized how much of a mess I'd made of rolling the film. It was completely mangled. There were pink stains covering nearly half my negatives, but for some reason I wasn't too disheartened. I'd never held my own negatives up to the light before. These were the photographs I planned. Tiny, black and white versions, but mine nonetheless. They were how I spent my Sunday afternoon, they were all my struggles learning how to operate a manual camera, and they were my first mistakes in the darkroom.
Digital cameras offer us easy access. Manual cameras offer us a sense of accomplishment and pride. The whole film-developing process fosters a connection between you and your photographs. That connection is the difference between feeling like a teenager with a camera and feeling like an artist.

Reform greets America's character

President Obama addressed a joint congress this evening regarding his plans for America's health care. Obama offered options for the 30 million Americans who cannot get coverage. He acknowledged the ideas of both the left and right, but said neither were perfect. He then asked America to support him in building on the health care system already in place, rather than disrupting it.

Obama reiterated the idea of "action now," stating that "our health care problem is our deficit problem." He spoke optimistically about the future of American health care, and the fact that this future lies with America's character. "We did not come here to fear the future. We came here to shape it," received applause from both parties at the end of the night.










President Obama refuses to sign a plan
that will add to America's deficit.

The Recounting of a Scene

I've decided to splurge on dinner. That's right, I'm dining at Panera. Why not? Tomorrow's a holiday (meaning we don't have class), so I've all the time in the world to relax tonight. Each Panera I visit seems to be arranged differently than the last. The placement of the cafe line in relation to the bakery line, the booths, everything is just a bit off. The booths on the far end of the restaurant are all filled up, but most of the tables are empty. The cashiers look at me while I take my time scrutinizing the menu. After I order I snatch up a booth and see that mostly young people are here. There's only one table of senior citizens.
Classical music is playing softly overhead, but it's interrupted by the buzzer that signals my order is ready.
There are five girls, about nineteen-years-old, gathered at the back table, all clad in athletic shorts and t-shirts. Two booths down from me there's a girl with her back to me.There are chopsticks in her hair and she's sitting across from a friend with striking black and red hair. The smoothie drinker in the corner booth is studying with a pen clenched between her teeth. Another smoothie drinker is sitting by the fireplace, smiling at his laptop. The salad eaters across from me are discussing Dante's Inferno and the senior citizens are all munching on a "You Pick Two" half sandwich, half soup combo.
I, the tomato soup drinker, am relaxing from a long week and enjoying their company.
Everyone except the studier and laptop user are engaging in conversation. The old man wearing blue suspenders is sitting with two older women. One of these women cracks up laughing every few minutes. People walk by outside, unaware of the people (or person) staring at them from inside Panera.
The laptop user nods at me, for some reason, on his way out of the restaurant. A man I hadn't noticed leaves wearing a biker helmet and jacket. I watch him ride away a few moments later. After finishing their food, a young couple moves from their booth over to the front of the fireplace, just talking. A man with long, curly grey hair enters with his two young daughters.
The old woman sips on an iced tea that's not half empty by the time she leaves with the other woman and man.
When there are no customers up front, laughter rings out from behind the cashier counter.
The young girlfriend is trying to wrestle something from her boyfriend's hands.
"This is painful," he says.
"If you were a good boyfriend you'd give it to me!"
I have no idea what they're quarreling over, but the boy obviously noticed me watching them. He stuck a quarter in his eye, to which his girlfriend responded, "Stop being a ham."
One of the salad eaters gets a phone call, answers it, and convinces the other salad eater it's time to go home. Now only the man with his daughters and the young couple remain.
It's 7:06 and one of the cashiers starts sweeping around the self-serve coffee counter.
I leave the remaining customers and workers at 7:07--wondering if I'll miss anything exciting after I go.

Movies that Stick with You

Recently I was posed the question: "What's the first movie that opened up your mind to what a film could do?" The first film that popped into my mind was, of course a favorite of mine, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I'm normally not one to deconstruct films. I'd rather just enjoy the thing as a whole. If I'm watching something like, say The Prestige, I'll notice overt loopholes, but I'm not painstakingly looking for plot flaws. It was hard for me to think of a film in such specific terms.

Eternal Sunshine is mind-boggling, yes. But surely, I thought, there must have been a movie that moved me before that.


After thinking about it for a while I decided upon Edward Scissorhands. Why?



A. Theme of Two Worlds Merging Together



B. The Sympathy Felt for Edward



The family in this movie lives in suburbia "heaven," if you can call it that. The houses are painted robin's egg blue, canary yellow, you know--all those bird colors. The lawns are mowed daily, the floors vacuumed daily, and the children fed daily. (Let's hope the last happens in most suburban homes.)
Edward lives in a dark, seemingly abandoned mansion on the outskirts of town.
The film merges these two polar opposites quite nicely, or for as long as it could allow.



Google a picture of Edward Scissorhands. Aside from the puppy-dog look on his face, he's a generally frightening guy, yes? Yet I fell in love with him. His sense of right and wrong are skewed, but his heart is in the right place. Find a wallet? Use the money to buy gifts for your friends and family. A touching idea. Edward longs so desperately to belong to this suburban community. He loves giving all the women haircuts, helping all the men trim their hedges. Who couldn't love this charming man? And the fact that his backstory is so tragic just makes him even more lovable.



I guess seeing this at such a young age made an impact on me because it made me realize everyone is less alone than they feel. So often people feel alienated and alone when they're truly not.



It's one thing to read about a character like Edward in a book. To see him, to observe him in our own world through film, is more stirring.



Are there certain movies for anyone out there that changed your perception of what film could do?